Recent Prayers

Recently, I've been thanking God...

• for my new niece Alethea
• for my parents' adoption of Luke, after many years of trying!
• for all I'm learning by home-schooling my children
• for 13 years of marriage
• for friends and family I got to see in California, Illinois, Michigan and Wisconsin in November and December
• for a new mini-van, which feels so luxurious, but will hopefully last quite a while and be big enough to fit all the kids even as they become teens

I've also been praying...

• for the Syrian refugees, living in tents through one of the coldest and wettest winters in the Middle East in 20+ years
• for my parents' next step, as they prepare to leave SIM and Nigeria, and look for work in the U.S.
• for friends and family who are struggling with illness and death
• for the patience and diligence to develop new friendships
• for wisdom in knowing what God really wants of me right now
• for the provision of a new home, at just the right time, so that Ethan can get the speech therapy he needs through a different school district

Cross Country 2012

The kids and I are about to take a road trip to California and back, and I thought it would be fun to chronicle  as much of our journey as possible. In reality, the saga has already begun. Taking a 5 1/2 week 7,000 mile trip by car across the United States doesn't happen on a whim; the preparations have been underway for weeks.

What does it mean to make a trip like this? It means spending hours on Google Maps, trying out different routes and figuring out stopping points according to how long I think I'll manage as sole driver without falling asleep at the wheel. It means tweaking those routes as I remember that the "estimated time" on Google Maps doesn't take into account all the various stops and mishaps that come with traveling with 3 children (or a sleepy driver who needs to get up and walk around). It means trying to fit in as many scenic stops as we can, knowing all the while that there are dozens more I'd like to be seeing.

Making a trip like this also means humility and vulnerability. Our finances are just as tight as anyone else's during this economic recession, and we simply don't have the means to pay for hotels at every stop along the way. So planning this journey means humbling myself enough to ask others for help, admitting that we can't do it on our own strength. Of course, the extrovert in me would really rather stay with people anyway. I much prefer that to a boring hotel room!

So preparations include writing to many folks I know, and some I don't know, asking for as many hosts as possible. It means spreading the word that we're making the trip, and asking others to ask their friends for us. I truly look forward to seeing many old friends as we stop in places like Gillette, Wyoming, and Dallas, Texas, but I also look forward to making new friends. And it also means I'm busy on Couchsurfing.org, surveying possible hosts in cities where I still don't have homes lined up. This especially makes me vulnerable, especially as Steve will not be traveling with us. But it's an exciting vulnerability, and I trust it will work out in the end.

We leave in just over a week, and the unfinished logistics are weighing on my mind. Stay tuned ...

Up in the Air

I keep thinking how nice it would be to have a steady reality for at least a few years in a row, but that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon. We thought that by Steve getting his job at Georgetown University and with our move to the D.C. area, we'd gain a good chunk of steady years ahead. But now it seems that everything is "up in the air" once more.

One change -- the most minor of all -- is that our station wagon 'gave up' (as Nigerians might say) almost 2 weeks ago. We were on our way to church when the accelerator just stopped working, and after having it towed to two different mechanics to get the diagnosis, we were told we needed a new transmission. We've been thinking, praying, and discussing ever since then, knowing that it was an older car, with lots of miles on it. We'd already spent a lot on repairs over the last 14 months, so made the difficult decision to let the car go ('give it up') and try to find an affordable replacement with fewer miles.

In the meantime, Steve's parents have been incredibly generous and gracious by giving us one of their cars. So at least we have wheels while we look for a long-term family car. Still, it's been stressful to say the least, and one of those testing times to see how 2 people can come to a decision together when they don't agree.

A bigger change that is possibly coming up, is a change of housing. We have recently discovered that the state of Maryland does not require its public schools to give special education help to homeschooled students with IEPs (individual education programs -- paperwork for kids with special learning needs). A year ago, we went through a long process in Virginia, getting Ethan evaluated to see if he qualified for an IEP to get speech therapy. He did indeed qualify and the school administrator told us that no matter where we moved, Ethan would get help from any local school with his IEP in hand.

Sadly, this was misinformation. Ethan has now gone for a full year without any formal speech therapy (though he's grown by leaps and bounds, and talks a hind leg off a horse!), and we are trying to figure out how to get him the help he needs. Since the local Maryland schools won't help, but Virginia schools *would*, we've told our landlord that we'd like to move as soon as they can get other renters to take our place. This was a difficult conversation to have with him and his wife.

We have no idea how quickly they could find someone else to rent the home. Our own lease doesn't end until May, so it's possible we'll be here until then. But our prayer is that we could move sooner, to get Ethan help sooner, and to be closer to Steve's work and our new church, and in an ethnically diverse neighborhood. (We're currently in a very homogenous area -- my guess would be 90% black, 7% African, 2.5% Hispanic and 0.5% white.)

The stressful part (for me, the incurable Messie) will be tidying up our house every time someone wants to come view it. Looking for our own new rental home in Virginia, when the time comes, will also be quite a task, as prices there are even higher than the inflated ones here.

(There's another possible change in the air as well, but more on that later, if it becomes more tenable.)

So maybe one day I'll have a home that's "mine" for more than 12-18 months, a neighborhood to grow roots in, and a car that's reliable and long-lasting. But it's not now. Here's hoping it's soon...

TCKs and the Olympics

If you've never heard of "TCK" before, you're not alone. Most people haven't! It stands for "Third Culture Kid" and refers to children who spend significant growing-up years in a country other than their parents' passport country. My own children are different from many TCKs, as we were never in a single foreign country for more than 2 years, and we didn't go in the normal capacity of military, NGO work, or missions. But I'd still consider them 'third culture kids' because they've spent 40-60% of their lives overseas.

Enough of definitions.

The Olympics began a full week ago, but my kids and I only got to see our first footage of it a few days ago. We don't get TV at home, but discovered that one of our nearby libraries had a TV turned on with NBC showing Olympic competitions. The first game we saw was women's water polo, USA vs. Spain. The kids caught my enthusiasm: as I cheered for our team's goals and defenses, they started cheering too.

And then Naomi said something that startled me. "People in Spain are watching this game, too, aren't they Mom?" It wasn't an earth-shattering observation, but nonetheless it reminded me that Naomi's world has been expanded. She can cheer for the USA, while still understanding that we're not the center of the universe. She knows there are people in other countries, rooting for their own Olympic teams.

We enjoyed part of a women's volleyball game next, USA vs. China. I don't know much about volleyball, but I tried to teach the kids something, and once again, we were all cheering every time the US got a point. There was a time when the US had pulled a number of points ahead of China, and Josiah said (with sympathy, not gloating), "I bet the people in China are feeling kind of sad now." Another reminder of the value that comes from dwelling among another people. I almost teared up to think that Josiah would care what another nationality was feeling.

And finally, as we watched a women's 8 rowing race yesterday, featuring many close-ups of the USA crew, Naomi said in frustration, "Why are they only showing the American team? I want to see the other teams too!"

We are Americans, proud of our country and teams. But we're citizens of the world, and we cheer for Great Britain, Jordan and Nigeria too. We love to see excellence in others and we strive to feel their pain when they suffer. Thank you, children, for being TCKs and for having hearts that beat for the rest of the world...

Our New Church

We had received many recommendations of D.C. churches and visited them all. None was the right fit for us. Since we had been members of a Christian & Missionary Alliance church from 1994-2005, we decided to look up area C&MA churches online. One of them, Arlington Community Church, was hosting a "Family Luau" fun night in May and since we're always on the look-out for family activities and free food is a nice bonus, we went. We had a great time, laughing at a magic show, making crafts, chatting to church members over a hot dog dinner, and watching "Rio" on a big screen complete with popcorn!

The next morning (Mother's Day), we attended our first church service at ACC, and were surprised by how few people were in attendance but also by how much we liked it! The pastor's preaching was very much what we had been looking for, and the music was a nice blend of old and new. We put the church on our "let's visit again" list.

The next time we attended was Father's Day, and we were kindly hosted to lunch by the pastor and his family after the service. We really enjoyed talking more with John and Amy Eckrote, and our kids enjoyed playing with their three boys. It was a chance for us to ask lots of questions, especially about areas that concerned us particularly because of ACC being such a small church. We left the Eckrotes' house feeling much better about ACC as a viable option for us.

After visiting one more Sunday, and after much prayer and discussion, Steve and I decided to commit to Arlington Community Church and make it our new home church. We are grateful beyond words to finally have a place to grow roots, to connect and make friends, to worship every Sunday (no more asking on Saturday nights, "Where are we going tomorrow?") Our children are very happy with their Sunday school and are spending time getting to know the Eckrote boys, as I'm sure they'll get to know other church children soon too.

The church only has about 50 people in attendance on a regular basis, but it has grown a lot since January, and is continuing to grow. We would much rather get to know 50 people well, than feel lost in a crowd of 4,000. Steve and I both appreciate and value John's preaching. He digs deep into the Word, but teaches us with both humor and relevance. We laugh, we ponder, and we come away wanting the Holy Spirit to work ever more in our lives. John also does a good job of leading worship (though he'd rather pass that off to a worship leader at the right time!) He blends hymns and modern songs, all to piano and guitar accompaniment, in seamless continuity so we can really focus. And all with a light heart -- it's not unusual to laugh, and as people who often take life too seriously, Steve and I need that!

Our biggest relief is to finally be making friends! One of the things that attracted us to ACC was that after just attending once, we had a personal invitation to a Memorial Day picnic by people that didn't even know us yet! In just our first few weeks of committing, we have felt loved and welcomed in very tangible ways, and this makes all the difference. If you've been praying for us, thank you -- your prayers are being answered!

Nigeria

We stopped at a thrift store (charity shop) today, trying to find some shoes for Josiah. I could immediately tell that the shopkeeper was African, and at the end of our visit, asked her where she was from. She answered, "Nigeria," and then of course was delighted to hear that I too had lived in Nigeria. I used my little Hausa and agreed that Jos was a "cold" place to live (only cold to a Nigerian!!) We quickly digressed to the recent violence that has marked much of Nigeria.

I don't know if you've kept up at all with the news of Nigeria, but in the past year, a Muslim terrorist group called Boko Haram has ravaged the country.They bomb churches, bomb government offices, and wreak havoc in other ways as well. It's getting to the point where I expect to hear bad news every weekend, and it's really quite heart-breaking.

The country of Nigeria has already struggled for years with corrupt governments and growing poverty. It has a lot of wealth from its crude oil off its coast in the south, but the people and infrastructure don't seem to benefit. The millions of dollars are in the hands of a few.

In January, the average person was made to struggle even more because the federal government suddenly removed its subsidy on gasoline. This not only made it difficult for people to get around (usually by taxis and buses, as most people don't own their own cars), but it also increased the prices of everything else.

The attacks of Boko Haram are an added burden, and I frankly don't know how much longer the Nigerian people can survive. My parents still live in Jos, Nigeria, and I have many dear friends there as well. I pray regularly for this precious country, that God will sustain the people and somehow bring about peace.

Looking for a Church

We are almost at our 7-month anniversary of living in D.C. and have still not decided on a home church. We have tried many, and even attended a few for 4-7 weeks in a row. But it's been a difficult search. The one we felt most sure about turns out to have an attendance of 4,000 and that's way too big for us! We're realizing that there are so many different aspects of church that matter to us -- it's really challenging to know how to hold those in balance, and how to prioritize them.

Some of the issues that are most important to us (besides the basics of Bible-teaching and Jesus-following) are:
1) Community -- we strongly feel that Church is meant to be family, deeply connected and caring for each other. Because of this we're looking for friendliness, small groups, times of fellowship, the ability to participate actively in the worship service, and a vibrant children's ministry. We want our church to be a place where our children feel loved and see Christ-following lived out in a very real way. This also means that size is a big deal to us. We feel the ideal size would be 100-250 people.

2) Worship -- we've experienced a wide variety of styles and media in previous home churches, and find that we strongly value such diversity. We appreciate both the latest songs and hymns, and the lyrics of time-tested classic hymns (though they're more fun with modern upbeat renditions!); quiet contemplation as well as exuberant praise; a bit of liturgy and a bit of freedom; choirs, praise teams, dramas and dance.

3) Teaching -- both through our undergrad years at Wheaton College, and our recent years at Magdalen Road Church (in Oxford, England) and Oasis Church (in Amman, Jordan), we've been greatly blessed with powerful, challenging teaching. We are used to sermons that have been well-prepared, well-prayed-over, and that you can't walk away from without being a changed person! We would love to find similar teaching.

4) Ministry -- we know that our lives in Christ are not just about *us* but about reaching out to the world around us. Steve has spent years learning about Islam, and God has given both of us a passion to befriend Muslims and help other Christians know how better to interact with the Muslims in their own lives. We need a church who has vision for sharing Christ, both in words and in deeds.

I think it's safe to say that at this point we have 3 churches uppermost in our consideration, though we'd like to continue visiting other new ones as well. We say the above 4 aspects are most important to us, but then we find that there are other considerations affecting our decision as well, including demographics and aesthetics. I often wish that I could take all the churches we've visited so far and just combine my favorite aspect of each into a custom-made church. Impossible, I know. So how long do we keep looking? Please pray for us.